Life is good

Hey everybody!

So, this might get a little personal — but that’s okay!

The best thing I have ever done in my life has become more low-key and started focusing on myself.

How so?

Think about it. If you are constantly trying to please people, does that lead you to a better life? Are these people you are trying to please any ‘better off’ than you are? The answer is: NO. You are not being lead anywhere except in circles on this “people pleasing” merry-go-round you’ve put yourself on. This merry-go-round I’m speaking of can actually be better referred to as society. And honestly, being stuck on that ride will drive you CRAZY.

If you’re ‘different’, society will chew you up and spit you out onto the outside of the merry-go-round! That’s a scary thought — which is the reason why it’s easier to just figure out what little Sally is doing and follow her lead. Everyone seems to like little Sally, so be like her — right? WRONG.

Life survival tip: If you ever come across an ‘easy’ route — it’s a trap. Kinda kidding, kind of not. 😏

Looking back in time at “little Paige”, I found myself trying to “one-up” others just so I could be seen. In return I was always told I was “annoying” or “not as pretty” or “selfish” because I had felt the need to only worry about myself, but in the wrong ways. I wanted to be accepted for who I wasn’t. I compared myself to others often and tried to be the girl that everyone wanted to be around. I saw it happen in the movies, so I figured, why not try it for myself? Spoiler alert: Being a socially awkward brat never worked out in my favor.

Ask yourself this: How can you try to be someone you’re not and fit in? Trick question. You can’t. It’s a scripted, made-up world that does not exist. I eventually learned that living life in this manner left me lonely, lost, and angry. I never knew why until I got older and realized — You don’t need to be accepted in order to be happy. And trust me when I say this: I tried SO HARD to fit in.

Something I wish I could go back and tell sad, lonely “little Paige” is that in a few years you will learn something truly life changing. Simply put, if we seek the approval from others, we will always fall short.

If you know me personally, you know I have pretty much been under a rock & that’s particularly unusual. For those who don’t know me, know this: this is the comfiest rock and I love it! I have honestly found my happy place. Allowing myself to take a break from the hustle and bustle of society was the best thing I have ever done in my life; for myself and for my family.

Have you ever been in a room filled with people laughing and enjoying themselves, but you just couldn’t shake the thought of “why am I here”? I certainly have. Too many times than I am willing to admit, unfortunately. Just know that you have these thoughts for a reason. The hardest part about this specific thought is trying to find the answer in a mature manner. Take this little bit of advice from a person that has had self-esteem issues and a troubled past — You don’t need those people.

I have learned to create my own happy place (under my rock… haha!). After many years of feeling unwanted I have learned to accept the fact that I am way too caring and heart-felt for most of society to handle. In my “little Paige” days I could not figure out how to express myself… Now, hello there! 😊 Here we are!

My priorities are way different now than what they were just a few years ago. Do you know what has changed? Everything — but, in a positive way.

Remember when I mentioned I only worried about myself, but in the wrong ways? That is beyond true. I was so selfish and immature, and recently a few people reminded me of those days. This is what created the want to share a blast from my past. Selfish acts are easier to toss into a gossip session. Let me fill you in on a little bit of truth: SOCIETY EATS THIS UP! I have learned that tearing someone else down is so much easier to do, rather than figuring out your own mistakes and learning to better yourself.

Life is scary and it is so much easier to hide behind someone else’s image. Even if you feel as if your life painting isn’t beautiful, just remember someone else thinks it is. “You are your own worst critic,” is what my husband tells me on almost a regular basis.

When society paints a picture in a young kids’ head of “what you should be”, it truly is a let-down when society throws you off of that merry-go-round and you land right into the dumpster. Do you remember me mentioning that crowded room filled with laughter, but you still felt alone? Those are typically the people who are pointing and laughing at you. But remember — those people do not matter. You don’t need those people.

Enough of the bad — let’s get to the good!

Knowing that society is just this circle of “who can be better”, why put yourself into it? I’ve made the personal choice to just step away. I thank the good Lord himself daily for blessing me with my husband. Honestly, most of what I have learned has come from my husband — I have to give him credit where it is due. 😘

I went from being a working single-mom of 1 to a stay at home, married mom of 4. Talk about a change of pace, right?

I love it.

My 4 kids; I birthed 2 and 2 are my bonus babies.

When I tell you that everything hit me at once — I’m not joking.

Every day I am learning to better myself not just for ‘me’ anymore. The 4 growing minds + my husbands ever-loving sanity = the perfect answer to solve the main problem or feeling unwanted in my life.

Now I am wanted.

Now I have purpose.

Everything else doesn’t matter.

The family and dearest friends that have been more than gracious to accept me for who I am… Those are who I choose to surround myself with.

No drama. No “he said, she said” blah blah blah. Just my little tribe, and we dance to the beat of our own drum.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Life is good.

As always, thanks for reading!

Forever,

Paige

♥️